The symptoms started when I was about five months pregnant with M. I was walking beside my mother-in-law in a home décor store and I kept losing by balance and grabbing hold of the cart. She noticed my difficulty and commented on it. I thought it was just part of pregnancy, even though I’m in the medical field, this was my first babe and honestly I didn’t think anything could go wrong. My mother-in-law was insistent that losing my balance was not a normal part of pregnancy.
My doctor was puzzled, this was beyond his expertise. I saw the worry in his kind eyes as he sent me for a CT scan. The scan didn’t show much and by then I was weak, couldn’t walk straight, and was beginning to slur my speech. He referred me to a neurologist. A spinal tap (with students watching:), multiple blood work and an MRI later, it was decided that I had an infection and swelling of the meninges of the brain. Viral Meningitis. A scary diagnosis under any circumstances!
They couldn’t give me any medication because of the baby. They said the infection just had to run its course. My symptoms grew worse. I didn’t want to go anywhere because of the stares people would give me. No one could understand me because my speech was so slurred and I couldn’t walk without leaning on someone for support. I felt like me on the inside but I didn’t look like me or sound like me.
My family was wonderful during this time. My mom, dad, and mother-in-law would take me to doctor appointments. I was seeing my OB doctor about once a week as well as a high-risk neonatologist. My husband would wake me up in the morning and help me shower and get dressed. If I got sick he would clean it up. He did the dishes, the laundry, the cooking. I’m sure that he was worried about me and the baby but he never showed it. His devotion and love was unwavering.
During all this time not once was I worried for myself. Motherhood begins the second you find out you are pregnant. I would pray every day, throughout the day that God would lay his hand on my baby and protect him from harm. I laid it all at His feet and gave over all the worry that consumed me.
By the time Mother’s Day arrived I was feeling somewhat better. I was on the road to mend. My husband bought me a card (a Mommy- to-be card). So did my Mom and my Mother-in-law. The doctor’s said that they couldn’t see anything wrong with the baby.
When M arrived almost a month early, he was beautiful and healthy. I had also made a full recovery (all by the grace of God)! The illness has had a few minor lasting effects. I feel like there are gaps in my memory from that time and I feel like I’m not as quick (cognitively) as I used to be (but that also may just be motherhood:).
I will never forget my first Mother’s Day.
